Establishing Rapport With Parents, a discussion

Presented by Linda Davey

Jessica Powers

Establishing Rapport With Parents was a workshop conducted by Dr. Linda Davey as part of HNET s inaugural conference.  Though our numbers were small, our learning was great as we discussed the many complicated aspects of parent/teacher interactions.  Participants who are currently teaching, along with Dr. Davey, gave us their strategies and suggestions for maintaining effective relationships with students parents.

Our discussion began by talking about how we feel when dealing with parents.  Though many of us are currently student teaching, and therefore only see parent/teacher interactions on the periphery of the classroom experience, we discussed what sort of difficulties may be encountered where parents are concerned.  For example, parents may be upset about their childs grades, or the amount of attention they feel their child is or is not receiving.  Other parents may feel that their children are not being challenged enough in the classroom.  Still other parents dont agree with your methods of assessment, or your reasons for covering certain topics in class.  While we as teachers often dread interactions with parents, we must all remember that parents and teachers both want what is best for their children, and that for every unpleasant parent interaction we may have, there will be an equally wonderful interaction!

After we discussed some of the potential problems teachers may run into with parents, we discussed things to bear in mind when considering how parents feel about certain issues.  These points are often ones that teachers do not consider, so we felt that the issues raised here were certainly helpful in our own conceptions of parents and families.  Firstly, Dr. Davey reminded us that families today face a different sort of stress than what we have been accustomed to in the past.  It is hard for parents to combine their role with the teachers, as parents are often trying to help their children with homework, projects, and extracurricular activities.  They must do this on top of whatever they do in their own lives, and they must do this in the face of a changing American awareness about our own health, safety, and our nations ability to protect itself.

We briefly discussed how to help irate parents who dont want to listen to what you have to say.  We came to the conclusion that if you really listen to the parent and acknowledge their feelings instead of immediately becoming defensive, the parent will often run out of steam.  At that point, you allow the parents to feel that you are truly concerned by telling them that you want to hear more, or that you can reiterate what they have said.  Dr. Davey made the important distinction that you do not have to be guilty of whatever a parent accuses you of, but you must endeavor to find out what the parent thinks you can do in order to rectify the situation.  If you truly did something wrong, you must apologize, but, in any case, you should always explain your side, once the parent is willing to listen to you.

For most of the workshop, we discussed ways to get parents involved in the classroom.  Parents want to feel needed and included in their childs education, and we as teachers must give them every opportunity to do so, even on upper grade levels.  It is true that we often include parents when the children are very young because they provide us with invaluable support both inside and outside of the room, but parents often feel a separation between themselves and teachers as their children age.  One suggestion is to meet and greet all the parents at the beginning of the year.  Another is to find a way to get parents who seem especially hostile on your side, either by talking with them or by soliciting their opinions on neutral classroom topics.  Another idea is to ask the parents if they would like to make something to hang in the classroom with their children, like a copy of a favorite poem.  Some parents do not have the time or interest for this, but others do, so it is important to give them a chance!